This is written more for other trans folks than cis folks, although if you understand dysphoria you should be able to understand this.
Imagine instead of having constant and/or heavy dysphoria, having it for 2-4 days a week, sometimes 2 weeks straight, sometimes not having, or consistently having it it for several weeks or even years in a row. You’re definitely not cis, you know this for a fact, and sometimes it’s strong enough you forget it’s going to go away, and consider living as male permanently.
Then the other times, when it’s not there, you feel like a total fraud for claiming to be trans.
Then, there are tons of grey areas and times when it’s just hovering, mildly, over your head. Sometimes you wish you could change your body to be between male and female. You want to be a man with a vagina, or a woman with a beard and no curves or breasts.
And then, there’s the fact that I love cross-dressing and am GNC no matter which side I’m leaning towards that day. I want to wear dresses in dude mode and go butch and topless in lady mode.
I don’t shave any of my body hair, and feel like I lack it in many areas, especially my face and chest. It’s strange and embarrassing to look down and see a smooth, pale chest. That is, if I ignore my breasts.
I think ultimately if I could pass for either one, had the ability to grow facial hair, I could live with that. Maybe a breast reduction, because they give me the most trouble, but in lady mode I love them and I don’t want to give them up.
On more than one occasion I have covered up one breast, leaving the other where it is, and felt that things are as they should be. Perhaps one day I’ll have a single mastectomy. I haven’t made any decisions about surgery.
The thing people need to know about Genderfluidity is that I am the same person no matter what my body is doing that day. I don’t change my name. I don’t change my pronouns. I don’t act any different. I might change my stance and lower my voice to pass as male in public, but that is due to social dysphoria.
Genderfluidity is not a choice, or playing pretend. normal people don’t have personas in their daily life. I am not a drab king who acts like a man for performance and pleasure. DMAB Genderfluid folks are not drag queens.
I can dress in drag in dude mode, or dress butch in lady mode. In fact, I do often. It has nothing to do with my gender identity.
In case anyone has any questions to what genderfluidity is like, Jean is always a good person to go to.